We've all heard that we can choose happiness, be positive, and recite positive affirmations and that will make us happier. 

My experience says that this isn't enough. 

I’m not actually down on positivity. I grew up with a super positive mom and in so many ways it served me well. I like that for the most part I find it easy to be positive, happy, smiley, and optimistic (even when I am not feeling it inside).

I thank my mom for that ability. 

When we focus only on our positive traits and have an…

As we do shadow integration work, it's so easy to get stuck when we come upon aspects of self and humanity that can be tough to accept. Sometimes shadow integration can be pretty hardcore, but I invite people to take a more gentle approach to the integration of our shadow, one based in self-love and compassion. 

Here are the 5 Pillars of Gentle Shadow Integration:

Pillar 1: Self-Compassion

I like to think of it like this - how can I blame myself for what my ego did to protect me? How can I bl…

We have connected relationships, thriving families and awesome lives because we love and accept ourselves, not the other way around.

But, when I get started with my clients and they come around to believing that to get what they want, they need to love and accept themselves, they ask me…”okay….so….how do I do that?”

To be completely honest, it's not a "three steps" or "21 day challenge" kind of a thing. It's more like a journey.

So, let's set our GPS to the intersection of self-acceptance ave…

When My Kids Were Little, They Talked To Me

Sure I got the standard, “Fine” when I asked, “How was school?” or “Nothing,” when I asked what they did, but as we did activities together or as I snuggled them at night, they’d tell me things. Things they did and things they wanted, silly things and meaningful things.

As they’ve become teenagers, those conversations have started to dry up a little. As I see less of them, I notice my desire to reconnect at the end of the school day. I work from ho…

It's so hard to "love" parts of ourselves that we've spent our lives trying to "not be".

But what if it was less personal and more, neutral.

Like a thing we have to do in order to get to the fulfillment, inner peace and connection that we all want? Maybe the word "love" trips us up and the better word is "include."

Can you INCLUDE all aspects of yourself? Even those parts of you that you try hard not to be? 

This is the journey of being inclusive - to integrate all parts of ourselves into w…