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Happiness Recipe: Less Positivity and More Shadow Integration

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We've all heard that we can choose happiness, be positive, and recite positive affirmations and that will make us happier. 

My experience says that this isn't enough. 

I’m not actually down on positivity. I grew up with a super positive mom and in so many ways it served me well. I like that for the most part I find it easy to be positive, happy, smiley, and optimistic (even when I am not feeling it inside).

I thank my mom for that ability. 

When we focus only on our positive traits and have an…

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5 Pillars of Gentle Shadow Integration

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As we do shadow integration work, it's so easy to get stuck when we come upon aspects of self and humanity that can be tough to accept. Sometimes shadow integration can be pretty hardcore, but I invite people to take a more gentle approach to the integration of our shadow, one based in self-love and compassion. 

Here are the 5 Pillars of Gentle Shadow Integration:

Pillar 1: Self-Compassion

I like to think of it like this - how can I blame myself for what my ego did to protect me? How can I bl…

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Applying "Relationship First" to Parenting

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I was walking by a dad and his daughter. She was upset and saying "No, I just want to leave." He was actually pretty calm but clearly trying to make a point. He said "When you calm down, we can leave." To which she said "I can't calm down until we leave."
She was young, like 2 or maybe 3.
She knew what she needed.
But dad stuck with his arbitrary "rule" that she had to calm down first.
I guarantee things escalated.
She knew what she needed. Why wouldn't…

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Happy Women's Day: Let's Connect on a Deeper Level

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I have the absolute pleasure and honor to have built a business that has me walking beside so many amazing women, guiding them on their journey home to themselves, The Whole Soul Way™. They never cease to amaze me with their vulnerability, authenticity, self-awareness and courage.

I was bullied as a teenager and had some emotionally devastating losses in the female friendship department over the first 2 decades of my life. The list is long of ways that I internalized a message that wo…

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A Better Way to Deal with Your Pesky Ego (Rather Than Trying to Get Rid of It)

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I see many spiritual and personal growth teachers and coaches positioning the ego as the enemy. Something to "get rid of".

This teaching completely misses the mark in my experience and opinion.

Our ego is our protector.


Believe it or not, she's got your back in a big way. 

When your ego seems mean to you, she really believes that being mean to you will protect you by "hurting you before others can hurt you." It may sound crazy, but she believes this is helpful.

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Relating to Your Parent With Dementia

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I'm so excited to share with you something I've been working on!

Having been a daughter of a parent (my mom) with dementia, not being the primary caregiver and, instead, being more of an advocate for my mom along the journey...I've decided I want to help women like me. It's a unique position to be in - I lived across the country from my parents but I loved my mom so much and wanted to be there for my mom AND my family as we all went through this. I was the one trying to stay one step ahea…

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Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

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We have connected relationships, thriving families and awesome lives because we love and accept ourselves, not the other way around.

But, when I get started with my clients and they come around to believing that to get what they want, they need to love and accept themselves, they ask me…”okay….so….how do I do that?”

To be completely honest, it's not a "three steps" or "21 day challenge" kind of a thing. It's more like a journey.

So, let's set our GPS to the intersection of self-acceptance ave…

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Shadow Integration 101: Projections

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DO YOU KNOW WHAT "PROJECTION" IS?

It's when people place their own negative traits, emotions, flaws or impulses onto another in order to not have to face it in themselves.

This can actually happen with positive attributes too 🙂

Basic gist - "you spot it, you've got it" or when you point one finger at another, three fingers point back at you ;) 

This is why, when we judge another, it says more about us than it does about the other person.

And this is always an exiled, orphaned or disowned p…

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How To Connect When Your Teen Is Focused on Their Phone

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When My Kids Were Little, They Talked To Me

Sure I got the standard, “Fine” when I asked, “How was school?” or “Nothing,” when I asked what they did, but as we did activities together or as I snuggled them at night, they’d tell me things. Things they did and things they wanted, silly things and meaningful things.

As they’ve become teenagers, those conversations have started to dry up a little. As I see less of them, I notice my desire to reconnect at the end of the school day. I work from ho…

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Love Ourselves: Let's Replace Love with Include

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It's so hard to "love" parts of ourselves that we've spent our lives trying to "not be".

But what if it was less personal and more, neutral.

Like a thing we have to do in order to get to the fulfillment, inner peace and connection that we all want? Maybe the word "love" trips us up and the better word is "include."

Can you INCLUDE all aspects of yourself? Even those parts of you that you try hard not to be? 

This is the journey of being inclusive - to integrate all parts of ourselves into w…

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