Inside My Journal
Shadow Integration 101: Projection and Judgments
Most of the women who join The Whole Soul Way program NEVER want to be called selfish.
Like they abhor those things––and they feel disgusted at the idea that anyone would say that about them.
And they get uncomfortable when we get to the point in The Whole Soul Way program where we talk about the "Cherished Self" and they learn that what we find offensive or repulsive in another is mirroring a part of us that's also in us. 😱
That we may do our best …
Love Ourselves: Let's Replace Love with Include
It's so hard to "love" parts of ourselves that we've spent our lives trying to "not be".
But what if it was less personal and more, neutral.
Like a thing we have to do in order to get to the fulfillment, inner peace and connection that we all want? Maybe the word "love" trips us up and the better word is "include."
Can you INCLUDE all aspects of yourself? Even those parts of you that you try hard not to be?
This is the journey of being inclusive - to integrate all parts of ourselves into w…
Self-Love is a Way of Being, Not Another Thing To Do
It's so easy to neglect self-care because we have too much to do. We KNOW that if we were to take care of ourselves, everything else would be easier and better, but we just can't do it (for a myriad of reasons hidden behind "I don't have the time"). Nevertheless, I recommend we look at it differently.
What if Self-Love is more of how we "be" in the world and the tiny little choices we make all day, rather than "another thing to do on your list?"
What if it's the way we act all day long - can …
The Void Left When My Son Went To College
The house feels different, dinners feel different. It’s not exactly a “missing him” feeling. It’s more like something feels off.
It feels right in many ways. The 18 years of nurturing and preparing, his launch into the world is predictable, bittersweet. It’s developmentally spot on. It’s that time. It’s a pretty “normal thing to do.”
That he’s happy and adjusting well makes it easier, but the absence is ever present. It’s palpable. The way that his absence has left a void, an emptiness. Not…
If You're Blaming Him For Your Unhappiness, You're Not Ready to Leave
Note: This message isn’t for anyone in an abusive or toxic marriage. Your safety and health are most important.
In 2010, my marriage was falling apart.
It totally seemed easier to give up.
The idea of focusing on making our marriage better seemed daunting and, sad to say … hopeless. In my mind, I created a fantasy life where I lived with my kids in a cute apartment living a “free” life. I tapped into this fantasy whenever things were particularly crappy and I needed to feel a sense of contr…
Rage, Who Are You?
A poem from my journal on June 14, 2018
I am the voice that screams from within
Aching to be heard, not to be dimmed
I see the pain that was told to hide
Longing for a voice, rumbling inside
I tried to stop him from hurting you
But fear wouldn't allow me to
I'm the tiger that roars a ferocious "no"
Clawing and growling, stop, please go!
I'm the mama bear who protects her young
Staying close and alert, so no harm can be done
In the face of violation, I was born
But I was n…
Self-Care Is NOT Enough
Most moms have been told “take care of yourself”. Self-care has become pretty mainstream.
But I see a lot of moms stuck at self-care when their soul is asking for self-love.
Seriously, I highly recommend self-care. I recommend that we all get 7–8 hours of sleep at night, and if we have new babies, that we sleep during the day when they sleep. We need to move our bodies, eat reasonably healthfully, and take time to do nurturing things that refresh and rejuvenate us. You may choose to meditate, …
Self-Love Includes Loving the Parts You Fear are Unlovable
Maybe you've heard people talking about self-love as if it’s just “this thing” you should just do or have.
But I want to be completely honest with you
Self-love is not an easy journey and can feel uncomfortable
Tremendous rewards, but hard work nonetheless.
We don’t get taught how to love ourselves. In fact, most of us get taught how to reject and criticize ourselves, to beat ourselves up, through subtle and not-so-subtle cues throughout childhood and beyond.
Self-love is not just “girl, yo…
You Have to Love Yourself to Love Another. Myth or Reality?
You’ve probably heard people say “you can only love others as much as you love yourself.”
Myth or reality?
I think it’s a myth.
I mean, you love your kids like crazy, right? And most people have been in loving romantic relationships and have loving, compassionate friendships.
So, nah, I don’t buy it…I think we can love others even when we don’t love ourselves.
But I also think it’s pretty unlikely you’ll be truly happy if you don’t love yourself.
“To me, it’s extremely unlikely that withou…
Looking for Love in All The Wrong Places
Ten years ago, I was deeply entrenched in the belief that if my husband would be more romantic, affectionate, connected, attentive, helpful, fill in the blank, I would be happier. I would feel more loved.
Maybe you can relate on some level?
I believed that my husband caused most of my problems. Truthfully, I was about ready to leave my marriage.
“In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, ‘Listen, I have to be responsible for…
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