Happy Mother's Day to My Mom

In memory of my mom who died on May 2, 2021.

At the very end of my mom's life, my dad and I slept in her room with her. One night I slept at the top of her bed so I could hold her hand and be close to her. The night before that, I sat up watching her and wrote this. 

My Mom

My biggest cheerleader

Always supporting me

Loving me

"You can do anything," you said

Never doubting anything I wanted to do

Believing in me more than I did myself

You listened and supported

Guided and sacrificed

A genuinely self-less mom

Always there

Giving and loving

I'll be forever grateful

Of course it's more complicated

These past 12 months have been

A time of a great unfurling

Peeling away the the layers

The layers that separated us

My judgments and superiority

The distance of generational differences

The ways I tried to be "not you"

It took until 50 to individuate

so I could see you with clear eyes

Beyond my projections

Opening my heart

Pushing the edges of my fear

Fear of getting old

Fear of dementia

Fear of losing you

Yes, you're slipping away

But now I'm in touch 

With the true You

The shining light you are

Your life was simple

Your light was bright

Your heart was overflowing with love

You touched so many people

I see you now

I see you beyond "mom"

I see you beyond fear

I see you - I see love

I thank you for being a gift

To me, the world, my kids, Dad

You have touched the world

Made a mark in the name of love

My heart aches to say goodbye

But I am complete

I have no regrets

I can set you free

Until we meet again, my sweet mom

Shine your bright light down upon us

I can only hope to shine as bright as you

I can only hope to make you smile

You were strong and wise

You were generous and kind

Thanks for being a wonderful mom

Goodbye Mom. I love you.