Inside My Journal
From Angry and Triggered to Calm and Centered
Life Happens, How You Experience Life is a Choice
Good stuff. Painful stuff. Tragic stuff. Traumatic stuff. Scary stuff. Sweet stuff. Fun stuff.
We have some control over what happens.
And a lot of stuff just happens.
Would you agree?
Because if we agree that life happens whether we like it or not, and we can't control a lot of what happens, we have a choice on the perspective we take on the experience of life.
Ya know, the one that doesn't always make sense and is filled with suffering and unexplainable tragedy.
>>> We can see ourselves…
How to Stop "Shoulding" On Yourself
Do you tell yourself you "should" be doing one thing when you're doing another?
Or that you should or shouldn't FEEL a certain way or BE a certain way?
"I should be less lazy"
"I should be further along in my personal growth journey"
"I should have gotten more done"
"I should be working more"
"I should be spending more time with the kids"
"I should be more productive"
"I shouldn't rock the boat"
"I should be patient"
"I should be skinny"
"I shouldn't be sad"
"I should eat better"
Stop Doing These 4 Things if You Want To Be Happier
“I have no right to be unhappy, I really have such a great life—so many people in the world are suffering and have much bigger problems than me.”
I used to find myself saying that … and my clients often say it. I learned to start sessions by telling my clients that I know that there are people who have a rougher life than you and that you shouldn’t complain, but this is a space where all of your pain, suffering, and sadness matter.
It’s hard for us to let go of the story we carry that because …
If You're Blaming Him For Your Unhappiness, You're Not Ready to Leave
Note: This message isn’t for anyone in an abusive or toxic marriage. Your safety and health are most important.
In 2010, my marriage was falling apart.
It totally seemed easier to give up.
The idea of focusing on making our marriage better seemed daunting and, sad to say … hopeless. In my mind, I created a fantasy life where I lived with my kids in a cute apartment living a “free” life. I tapped into this fantasy whenever things were particularly crappy and I needed to feel a sense of contr…
An Important Tip to Become a Better Listener
I saw this on Facebook today: "Normalize not sharing a relatable story about yourself when someone shares something about themselves, and just listen."
Afraid of Being Seen as Lazy?
I know (many) moms who secretly wish they would get sick or end up in the hospital just so they could feel justified in resting, sleeping and doing nothing!
When you think about slowing down or resting do you immediately think "lazy?"
Do you relax and then feel guilty for doing nothing? Does your tough inner critic tell you to stop being lazy? Or question whether you deserve to rest when there are so many things that need to be done?
Here's the thing - this guilt and self-talk puts more pres…
Is Being Busy a Way To Avoid Living Intentionally?
It seems like there's a lot more to do these days – more email to check, more Jones' to keep up with, more events to attend, more activities to schedule.
But also, like being busy is something to be proud of.
And if you're not busy, people think there must be something wrong with you.
And yet, I think there's something more to this.
Have we decided that we're only valuable if we're busy and productive?
Maybe it doesn’t even matter WHAT we're doing, as long as we're always doin…
Do You Think of Yourself as Spiritual?
Let's talk spirituality and how it connects to YOU and the world.
Is spirituality the same as religion?
I notice there are some who have a pretty strong emotional reaction to the word spirituality because they associate it with organized religion. Many people have a positive response. Many people have a negative response. While “religion” is certainly one way to define spirituality, it feels a bit limiting to me.
I notice others who respond strongly because they hear spirituality as…
Red Pen the Shoulds
- Authenticity (18)
- Change the World (11)
- Communications (5)
- Conscious Living (30)
- Empowerment (20)
- From Deb's Journal (4)
- Inner Work (28)
- Leadership (5)
- Mindfulness (14)
- Parenting (13)
- Relationships (14)
- Self-Love (28)
- Shadow Integration (5)
- Videos (4)
- Worthiness (9)
- Aging (1)
- Nervous System Regulation (1)
- Parent with Dementia (1)
- Parent Yourself (1)