Inside My Journal





The Void Left When My Son Went To College

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The house feels different, dinners feel different. It’s not exactly a “missing him” feeling. It’s more like something feels off. 

It feels right in many ways. The 18 years of nurturing and preparing, his launch into the world is predictable, bittersweet. It’s developmentally spot on. It’s that time. It’s a pretty “normal thing to do.”

That he’s happy and adjusting well makes it easier, but the absence is ever present. It’s palpable. The way that his absence has left a void, an emptiness. Not…

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If You're Blaming Him For Your Unhappiness, You're Not Ready to Leave

Blaming You Arent Ready to Leave

Note: This message isn’t for anyone in an abusive or toxic marriage. Your safety and health are most important.

In 2010, my marriage was falling apart.

It totally seemed easier to give up.

The idea of focusing on making our marriage better seemed daunting and, sad to say … hopeless. In my mind, I created a fantasy life where I lived with my kids in a cute apartment living a “free” life. I tapped into this fantasy whenever things were particularly crappy and I needed to feel a sense of contr…

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An Important Tip to Become a Better Listener

Listen Better

I saw this on Facebook today: "Normalize not sharing a relatable story about yourself when someone shares something about themselves, and just listen." 

(note: normalizing doesn't mean eliminating, so don't feel bad if you do this - there is a time and a place for everything!)

I know how hard this is, and most people think that this is showing the person that they're not alone or that they can relate. And yes, at times it can be more of a competition, but I'm not sure that's the most com…

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Afraid of Being Seen as Lazy?

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I know (many) moms who secretly wish they would get sick or end up in the hospital just so they could feel justified in resting, sleeping and doing nothing! 

When you think about slowing down or resting do you immediately think "lazy?"

Do you relax and then feel guilty for doing nothing? Does your tough inner critic tell you to stop being lazy? Or question whether you deserve to rest when there are so many things that need to be done?

Here's the thing - this guilt and self-talk puts more pres…

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Is Being Busy a Way To Avoid Living Intentionally?

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It seems like there's a lot more to do these days – more email to check, more Jones' to keep up with, more events to attend, more activities to schedule.

Doesn’t it? 

But also, like being busy is something to be proud of. 

And if you're not busy, people think there must be something wrong with you.

And yet, I think there's something more to this.

Have we decided that we're only valuable if we're busy and productive?

Maybe it doesn’t even matter WHAT we're doing, as long as we're always doin…

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Rage, Who Are You?

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A poem from my journal on June 14, 2018

I am the voice that screams from within

Aching to be heard, not to be dimmed


I see the pain that was told to hide

Longing for a voice, rumbling inside


I tried to stop him from hurting you

But fear wouldn't allow me to


I'm the tiger that roars a ferocious "no"

Clawing and growling, stop, please go!


I'm the mama bear who protects her young

Staying close and alert, so no harm can be done


In the face of violation, I was born

But I was n…

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Have We Abandoned the Feminine?

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When you feel you are being moved by the creative spirit, you are in fact being moved by the divine feminine.” ~ Teri Delger

What's happened to the value that historically (many many lifetimes ago) was placed on being a sensual, intuitive, feminine woman? There were times when humans worshipped Mother Earth, the Goddess. Women were revered and honored for their femininity.

Within each human being there are masculine and feminine energies. When we balance the two, we can feel both that we a…

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How I Moved Beyond My Fear of Criticism

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How do you feel about criticism? Do you do everything you can do avoid it? Does your fear of criticism hold you back from being your true self?

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

For as long as I can remember, I lived in my own make-believe world where I believed that if I was “perfect” in my actions, no one would criticize me. I was convinced that I was doing everything “right” therefore I was protected. …

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Self-Care Is NOT Enough

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Most moms have been told “take care of yourself”. Self-care has become pretty mainstream.

But I see a lot of moms stuck at self-care when their soul is asking for self-love.

Seriously, I highly recommend self-care. I recommend that we all get 7–8 hours of sleep at night, and if we have new babies, that we sleep during the day when they sleep. We need to move our bodies, eat reasonably healthfully, and take time to do nurturing things that refresh and rejuvenate us. You may choose to meditate, …

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Self-Love Includes Loving the Parts You Fear are Unlovable

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Maybe you've heard people talking about self-love as if it’s just “this thing” you should just do or have.

But I want to be completely honest with you

Self-love is not an easy journey and can feel uncomfortable

Tremendous rewards, but hard work nonetheless.

We don’t get taught how to love ourselves. In fact, most of us get taught how to reject and criticize ourselves, to beat ourselves up, through subtle and not-so-subtle cues throughout childhood and beyond.

Self-love is not just “girl, yo…

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