You’ve probably heard people say “you can only love others as much as you love yourself.”

Myth or reality?

I think it’s a myth.

I mean, you love your kids like crazy, right? And most people have been in loving romantic relationships and have loving, compassionate friendships.

So, nah, I don’t buy it…I think we can love others even when we don’t love ourselves.

But I also think it’s pretty unlikely you’ll be truly happy if you don’t love yourself.

“To me, it’s extremely unlikely that withou…

Ten years ago, I was deeply entrenched in the belief that if my husband would be more romantic, affectionate, connected, attentive, helpful, fill in the blank, I would be happier. I would feel more loved.

Maybe you can relate on some level?

I believed that my husband caused most of my problems. Truthfully, I was about ready to leave my marriage.

“In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, ‘Listen, I have to be responsible for…

In memory of my mom who died on May 2, 2021.

At the very end of my mom's life, my dad and I slept in her room with her. One night I slept at the top of her bed so I could hold her hand and be close to her. The night before that, I sat up watching her and wrote this. 

My Mom

My biggest cheerleader

Always supporting me

Loving me

"You can do anything," you said

Never doubting anything I wanted to do

Believing in me more than I did myself

You listened and supported

Guided and sacrifice…

I truly believed that I was parenting in a very open-minded and progressive way prior to reading a book called Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I've tried very hard to be an open communicator, to resist punishing opting instead for turning it into a learning opportunity, to really hear my children, to love them in a way that I thought was truly unconditional, etc.. I believe that most parents actually do unconditionally love their children – that no matter what our kids do, we'll still lov…

It's so easy to get confused and think self-love is all about following your moment to moment feelings, only doing what feels good, always choosing what feels comfortable.

But it's not!

Self-love requires the balance between gentleness and nurturing AND truth and aspirations - reaching for what you want to create in your life. Tough love isn't bad - when we consider the bigger picture...WHY we're doing what we're doing, we sometimes need a little tough love to do what it takes to get there.

S…

Click here to listen to the short TikTok video I recorded about this

When you said “I do” to your partner, I’ll bet you never thought you'd become passing ships in the night, tag-teaming to bring one kid here the other kid there, so busy that there would be no time to nurture your relationship.

You may have even vowed to never let that happen to you.

In 2010 - our kids were 6 and 8 - my husband and I reached a crisis point in our marriage. He insisted we speak to our Rabbi. I was not excited …

Most of us struggle with the very real and painful condition of never feeling good enough. And it got created in childhood with the best of intentions - the desire all parents have to help our kids make friends, be good people, grow into successful adults and thrive in life. 

I know you love your kids. Unconditionally. 

The real question isn’t whether we love our kids, but rather – do they FEEL loved unconditionally.

You may be thinking, “Of course they do!” But so often I find that we make love an…